People can tell if you are faking it, so you really need to find pleasure in learning about others. You don’t need to be nearly as interesting as you need to be interested. “Become genuinely interested in other people.” How well would he have done if he fished with what he loved: strawberries and cream? Talk about the other person’s desires, and show them how to get there. “Arouse in the other person an eager want.”ĭale Carnegie didn’t like to eat worms, but strangely enough, he fished with worms and did pretty well. Look for qualities worthy of commendation. But it is easy to tell shallow flattery from actual recognition of good qualities and hard work. Those who fulfill this craving for others will be held in high esteem. “Give honest and sincere appreciation.”Įveryone wants to feel needed and important. Even if they change their mind, it will not be a lasting change. Criticizing and condemning makes it harder for someone to admit they are wrong because they feel the desire to justify their actions or thoughts. It just makes people defensive and breeds resentment.
Think of How to Win Friends and Influence People, as oil for the gears of society. Read the whole book to get the most benefit from Carnegie’s lessons, and bookmark this page for a quick reference. This is an overview of the key takeaways from How to Win Friends and Influence People. You could recognize one of these tactics being used on you, and still feel no ill will towards the person employing it. In 1936 Dale Carnegie wrote How to Win Friends and Influence People after intense study of effective leadership, the psychology behind why people like each other, and how to approach tough situations without giving offense.įar from being sneaky ways to get what you want, or sleazy selling tactics, the ways Carnegie describes how to properly interact with others would make the world a better place if universally adopted. Turns out, actually being a genuinely good person is the easiest way to have influence over others, and get them to like you–weird, I know.
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